September 2012
cespur:
solluxcaptor:
unclefather:
if you drop a baby the 5 second rule still applies
the 5 second rule only applies to things that you’re going to eat
exactly
August 2012
calls grocery store
me: do you have cotton balls
worker: yes
me: does it tickle when u walk
worker: -hangs up-
Flight attendant: would you like some headphones?
Me: how did you know my name is Phones?
50shadesofgreen:
dylanoboob:
realtired-ofyourshitmasterwayne:
beanigirl:
STOP SCROLLING AND PUT YOUR MOUSE OVER THIS
ALSO THIS
AND THIS
and this
did i do this right
Cosmo sex tip #533
cosmo-sex-tips:
After you’ve finished having sex, rip his penis off, throw it to the ground, and say, “I LIKE THIS! ANOTHER!”
joydivsion:
taking my bra off after a hard day of having breasts
